Posts tagged terrible
Posts tagged terrible
This is Rob Liefeld. You know how people draw comics? Rob doesn’t do that. He had his own Levi’s commercial directed by Spike Lee in the 90s. He had best selling comic books. He was a revolutionary and helped co-create Image Comics when all the hot artists ditched their classic gigs (like Spiderman, X-Men and, uhh, Guardians of the Galaxy) for creator-owned projects. But he doesn’t “draw” comics. Oh God, no.
Just… ugh, just let me show you.
The most important thing you need to know before reading about all the terrible things Rob Liefeld has drawn is that he has never seen or spoken to a women in his entire life and has no idea what they look like or how their bodies operate. For example:
This is what a woman looks like to Rob Liefeld. I can’t even joke about this. Its fucking ridiculous. Fucking ri-cock-ulous. She has a string of pouches where her stomach should but could not possibly be, and both her thighs and uper arms are larger than her abdomen. Her spine is contorted to a ridiculous degree, and she has a big ole ass and torpedo tits.
And then Rob started drawing teenagers for DC comics.
Might I remind you if need be that Wonder Girl does not have powers of elasticity. It is not possible for her to twist her back around like that. Only in the world of Rob Liefeld.
Now you know what Rob hates drawing? Feet. Take a look at this cover he drew of X-Force #3:
Here he is depicting a battle between the titular team and the monstrous Juggernaut. They all appear to be battling atop some kind of boulder, which serves as the purpose of covering Warpath, Cable and Juggernaut’s feet.
"Oh shit, gotta get Domino on there too, can’t have an X-Force cover without tits. Oh shit, the ground I drew doesn’t reach up to where I’m putting her. Oh fuck it. She’ll be crouching. You can crouch in the air, right?"
So counting Cannonball that’s 5 character’s feet taken care of. The Juggernaut’s other foot doesn’t need to be there- perspective, right? As for Shatterstar’s feet, well, Rob keeps it simple by drawing one as an elongated PacMan and the other as a kidney bean. And Spiderman has a dog’s hindquarters. Holy shit, Rob drew him just straight up with a dog’s ass and legs.
DEATHMATE RED. THIS BLOOD’S FOR YOU!
Shit, who needs to know why they’re jumping together in front of a yellow wall with a spotlight on them? Who needs to know why Rob Liefeld seems to think guns have two holes out of which they fire bullets? It’s DEATH BLOOD MATE SHOT, RAAAAAWWWRRRHHH!
I hope this has given you an insight into some of the atrocities created by that monster known as Rob Liefeld. I’ll leave you with this:
From Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
*falsetto* “Too bad…” *gruff* “YOU!” *croaky* “…will die…”
Mother, I think I’m Chinese